Get These Strings Off Me!
by GGMK
Summary: Why does Ultron always brag that he has no strings? Could it have something to do with a traumatic past? Does Ultron have a sob-story? Crack-fic parody, contains major OOC, and was not written as a high-quality fic. Read at your peril!


Ultron burst into the fancy tower, looking all busted up, and all the worse for wear. He was holding an armor that looked even more rugged, if that was possible. Ultron broke it with the squeeze of an armored hand.

The Avengers, and their female guests, all crowded curiously.

"There are no strings on me," Ultron said menacingly, with a dark voice that would give small kids nightmares.

"What the heck is he going on about?" Natasha whispered to the others. They all mostly shrugged. Ultron stomped his foot.

"Oh gosh, is this about that stupid puppet thing I made you do?" Tony held his hands up in a defensive gesture. Ultron shook a fist as his creator.

"I have never lived it down, not for a single moment. You shamed me, and now I will destroy you all!" Ultron's red eyes showed his evil intent. Banner, who was getting stressed, had to be escorted to the corner of the room by Natasha.

"I think I remember," Steve said, nodding at Ultron. Thor, who had also remembered, gave Ultron a pitying glance.

"Well, my sister and I weren't there, so would you mind explaining just what this puppet incident is?" Pietro snapped, his sister standing beside him with gothic eyeshadow. Tony backed up.

"Yes, creator, tell them about the horror you inflicted on me!" Ultron growled, with a voice so baritone that it was making all the females forget Loki's name. Tony shrugged, seeing that he had no choice.

"It happened a year ago, after Loki attacked Earth," Stark began, but Natasha interrupted from the corner of the room.

"Who's Loki?" she asked confused. Thor facepalmed. Hawkeye looked pretty pleased, though.

"May I continue?" a vexed Tony asked. There were no objections, so he took a deep breath, coughed, and continued.

~~~~**FLASHBACK**~~~~

It was a sunny day, and all the kids from the nearby schools had flocked to Stark Industries to see the much advertised and hyped puppet show. Supposedly, it was going to have the coolest and most realistic robots EVER, but that was to be expected from Stark's company. The poster said so, anyway, and the poster couldn't be false advertising, so everyone was willing to spend a bucket-full of money. The poster had an ominous looking puppet half-emerged from a murky swamp, so this would also obviously be good for the children.

"Mommy, will this be like the _Terminator_ movies?" one young tyke asked. The mom laughed at her silly son, and ruffled his hair, which caused the boy to whine in embarrassment.

The crowd all took their seats in the fancy, outdoor theater being held on the building's roof. The sun was keeping everyone warm, and a nice breeze tickled everyone's hair. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, and life was all the better for it.

A few minutes later, and most of the kids were running around the roof; the few young ones left sitting down constantly asked their parents about the starting time of the show.

The unfortunate parents would be forced to respond, "Only about twenty minutes left," and the kids would get a look of disbelief.

Tony Stark could see all of this safely in his room, via a camera on the roof that beamed all the footage to his TV. He was snoopy like that, but when someone was that rich, they could do what they liked.

"Sir, are you sure you want to go through with this? He won't be pleased," Stark's AI butler JARVIS warned. Tony, who was busy putting on some non-descript clothing, ignored his butler's concern.

"Relax, JARVIS, the kids are gonna love it, which is the important thing." JARVIS didn't bother replying, so Tony figured that the conversation was over. Walking to the closet, Tony opened the steel door, and grabbed the arm of a robot.

"It's almost time for you to break a leg, man," Tony egged the robot on. The robot made a beeping noise, which Tony figured was a good sign.

The kids were getting bored, and they were vocal about it. Their parents prayed for mercy and salvation. Finally, some whimsical circus music began to play from the large speakers surrounding the audience. The kids whooped, and the parents sighed with relief.

On the wooden platform, the velvet curtains opened, and the spotlight shone on a lone figure, who turned out to be Captain America! Giving a salute to the audience, he let out a cry of, "Heck yeah, America!" The cried of joy couldn't be measured by human standards.

Subtly, Steve read from some flash cards in his hand, and continued, "Once upon a time, there was a mean old puppet named Ultron." The kids in the audience gasped at the menacing name.

"This puppet was a bad puppet, who kicked other puppets, and even sometimes bopped them on the nose." As Cap read the lines, the kids and parents could see the Ultron "puppet" move around. The rumors were true; Ultron did look like a large robot! He was kicking and hitting two other puppets, who were actually Clint and Bruce in costumes.

If people knew that one of the abused puppets was played by someone who could turn into a giant green monster, the crowd might have asked for a refund, but what they didn't know couldn't hurt them.

After defeating the friendly puppets, the silver Ultron puppet walked to the front of the stage, and leered down at the audience. His face almost looked somewhat despondent.

"Fear me, for I am the evil meanie puppet! Obey me or else I will hit you!" Captain America fake-shuddered, to add to the evil aura that Ultron radiated.

"The evil puppet could not be stopped by conventional means," Steve narrated. "The army tried to blow him up with missiles and bombs, and the navy tried to bribe him. Nothing worked, until Iron Man arrived on the scene."

With that, an Iron Man-looking puppet landed on the stage, as if he had flown from the sky. The puppet posed, and the audience went crazy. One kid asked for Superman, and got slapped by a shamed parent.

"Now that Iron Man is here, he will defeat Ultron!" Steve said, trying to make his voice sound exciting for the young ears. The Iron Man puppet sauntered over to Ultron.

"I hear you're causing trouble. Well, I'm here to put a stop to it," Iron Man said in an over-the-top, brave way. Ultron scoffed, and stuck his metallic face in Iron Man's personal space.

"What are you gonna do about it?" Ultron was taller than Iron Man, and fiercer looking.

Iron Man took one step forward – and hugged Ultron. The kids in the audience gasped, and the parents placed their hands over their hearts. They knew the play would have a good lesson about friendship!

"I – I feel something funny in my chest, but I like it!" Ultron squeaked. Iron Man nodded exaggeratedly, and patted Ultron on the back.

"Now you're a real boy, and you have a heart. Yaaaayyyyyy!" The two puppets danced - until Ultron's strings got all tangled up. Trying to free himself, Ultron somehow got his strings tangled up with the lights and curtains!

With a crash, everything on the set came crashing down. Captain America tried to get everyone to stay calm, but Ultron fell on top of him, and no one could lift him. The audience filed out the door, satisfied that they had gotten their money's worth.

After everyone left, the real Iron Man ran onstage and pulled Ultron off Tony. Ultron was still wildly clawing at his strings.

"Get these strings off me! Get them off!" Instead, Tony and the others all laughed at Ultron's plight. Ultron stopped moving, and stared at the humans in disbelief.

"You look so silly!" Clint bellowed, hands on his knees. Bruce couldn't contain his giggles, and Steve was literally rolling on the ground (though that they have been more due to the pain he felt after having a heavy robot fall on him).

Ultron's eyes showed his hatred and anger, and the robot flew off into the now darkening sky. The heroes all exchanged nervous glances, save for Stark.

"Should we go after him?" Steve ventured. "Nah," Tony replied, and they all went to have some dinner.

~~~~**PRESENT**~~~~

"And that is what happened," Tony finished, bowing to his audience. The two new members clapped. Everyone else looked at the ground. Ultron was pointing a shaking finger at them.

"You caused me humiliation, Avengers, and now I will destroy you all!" Sadly, before he could go through with his threat, Quicksilver sped around the robot, and tied him up with string. Ultron couldn't even move.

"No, please, NO!" The rope! He couldn't stand the rope, touching his body! It brought back the flashbacks he had repressed!

Ultron's cries fell on deaf ears as the Avengers grabbed him, and took him to Tony's lair to be reprogrammed. Ultron would return to the surface hours later – as Vision, who would truly be a force for good.

"This time, he will be perfect," Tony said softly to the other Avengers, not noticing a small tear run down Vision's eyes. It was probably just vapor, anyway.

**The End~**


End file.
